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Are we loving Unconditionally or Co-dependently?

Updated: Jan 31, 2023

As we all know, the Twin Flame journey is all about Unconditional Love both for others (not just your Divine Partner) but most importantly, for yourself. Indeed, one can only love another unconditionally if they love themselves unconditionally. If we are giving to others the love that you are not giving to yourself then you may be loving co-dependently which is love addition or rather validation addiction.

Let’s look at the list below and objectively examine our thoughts and actions-

  1. Am I showering others with love and attention whilst neglecting my self care?

  2. Am I putting myself in situations that compromise my safety and my integrity for others?

  3. Am I making myself responsible for someone else’s healing?

  4. Am I compromising my self respect and disregarding healthy boundaries so that someone can remain in my life?

  5. Am I making excuses for others’ abusive behaviour instead of speaking my truth and giving loving feedback?

  6. Am I lost in the fantasy of the connection whilst ignoring dysfunction?

  7. Have I resorted to lying to family and friends about the true nature of the connection?

  8. Am I putting all the focus on my person and ignoring my own childhood wounds and healing?

  9. Am I focused on trying to fix others whilst my wounding remains unaddressed?

  10. Am I more interested in pleasing others rather than being my authentic self?

  11. Am I using substances, toxic habits and other people to escape my reality?

  12. Am I so afraid of being alone or abandoned that I accept abusive behaviour and trespasses to my established boundaries?

  13. Do I have difficulty setting healthy boundaries with the people in my life including my family members and co- workers?

  14. Do I feel a constant need to prove myself and my worth to others by over-giving?

A “yes” answer to any of the above is an indication that more self focus and healing is required. Whilst Twin Flame connections aren’t meant to abide by the usual 3d rules, the foundation of this journey is self love.

Someone that loves themselves sets healthy boundaries (not barriers) that mitigate against all forms of abuse. Abuse happens insidiously with small slights and disrespects and balloons into atrocities. Focus your love on yourself and this vibration will attract or inspire others to do the same. They have to do their own inner work and we have to do ours. Unconditional love does not mean Unconditional access to your energy and space. It simply means seeing and accepting a person for who they are. No further action is required.

Acceptance does not necessarily mean access. It just means I see you, all of you and I love you. Some need to be loved from afar whilst they do their healing and you also require space for introspection and healing.

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